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David P. Smith: Remembering Your Father — What will your children remember?
Monday, June 18, 2012 9:13 AM

There is big problem in America today with the lack of dads for so many children.  For various reasons, those who should be the leaders and should be responsible feel that they are good enough fathers if they can just pay child support, but aren’t involved in the lives of their children in a committed way.  Marriage is being diluted down these days to mean nothing by those who see it as legal right they can claim and not a moral responsibility to be married in the way that God’s Word lays out for us very clearly – one man and one woman committed for life. 

It is becoming acceptable in some quarters nowadays for young people to never even marry, go ahead and have children, and then proudly boast of their new baby on FaceBook with no shame at all; it is a proven fact that children born in this type of relationship are generally going to suffer.  People know this, yet the problem is growing.  The children are the ones being hurt the most and our society is reaping the fruits of this wholesale abandonment of what a true family really is.  Those who are blessed to have the opportunity for a family should cherish what they have before them and not toss it aside in the pursuit of selfish endeavors that aren’t going to bring fulfillment in the end anyway. 

There are those out there who have lost a father due to no fault of the father, but because of an early death due to illness, or an accident.  Not having a father due to no choice upon the part of the father is tied to great sense of loss, but the sense of loss is even worse for those who know the father had a choice and made the decision to leave, or was just never committed enough to get married.  Those hurts run deep in our society.  Below is a poem about this topic: 

I was sitting in church today;  

My heavy burden I did carry. 

He told that there is a better way– 

Release that load here to bury.” 

But I’m used to carrying it alone,  

I want my load on my back to remain. 

What could I do except maybe to loan.   

Give Me that load to take away the drain.” 

I don’t know.  I’m so used to wearing  

That weight without, it would be so light. 

Give Me that load that you’ve been bearing, 

And your future will be so much more bright.” 

I’ll give it to You for a season, 

But remember I want it back. 

Guilt for not carrying it–that is the reason. 

That load without–I would not know how to act. 

The vision I saw was one of him–it’s him! 

The one I barely knew, but miss him still. 

An arm around me he placed to go meet Him. 

Release this burden — it’s His will.” 

That embrace felt so warm, so real! 

It was usually Him, but now it was Him and him. 

I wanted it to stay, but with life I must deal. 

Keep your eyes closed so you can see them. 

Let go of the hurt — it’s time you really live. 

Carry this no more — put it on Him, my Father. 

Leave it there this time after you give.” 

Without the hurt I can remember him, my father. 

There is choice before the male members of our culture and it is so clearly seen in the recent movie, Courageous.  It is a choice between becoming a real man, or staying a boy who just can’t seem to grow up and become responsible. 

Guys — you need to love that girl enough to marry her and stop all of the excuses that only serve to protect the selfishness that is your heart. 

Guys — you need to decide that the act of conceiving a child doesn’t make you man, but the act of first marrying the girl you say that you love, and then staying there through thick and thin to raise that child with your wife makes you a man. 

Guys — you need to quit leaving it to the taxpayers to foot your bills by not marrying because you want the government to pay for the expenses of your girlfriend and children; grow up, take on your responsibilities, and be a man. 

Guys — do want to be a man that your child can grow up one day and hopefully live long enough to hear them say that you did a good job, or do you want to see them grow up and realize that they just weren’t that important to you, even though you might have said you “loved” them.

Guys — if you die, will your children have good memories that sustain them through their days of missing you, or will there be a void for the rest of their lives because that God-given desire for a loving father was never fulfilled for them? 

There  is only one Hope for us all and that is Jesus Christ.  Through Him and Him alone, those voids can be mended for the many who hurt during a Father’s Day.  Become a man of honor to God and He will help you become what you cannot be on your own.  Trust Him — He wants to be your Father.

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