Pornography

Former Stripper Moves Out of Darkness, Into Light

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Pat Centner
AFA Journal staff writer
December 14, 2000

"It certainly didn't turn out to be the glitzy, glamorous world I had imagined it would be," said Kimberly Drake as she reflected on her life as a dancer at the Deja´ Vu strip club in Spokane, Washington. "Instead, I soon realized how dark and dirty and degrading it really was. And I desperately wanted out."

That was three years ago. Today, Drake is founding president and executive director of Spokane's Citizens for Community Values. CCV's purpose is to work with concerned citizens and community leaders in reducing sexual exploitation and violence in the Spokane area.

Drake says her heart is also very much in helping the dancers who are displaced as a result of night club closures or legislative restrictions prompted by the work of CCV and other organizations.

So how did this young woman, who had been addicted to
pornography, alcohol and drugs, become transformed into a dynamo who works ceaselessly in her community to create public awareness of pornography and the destruction it can cause? Drake answers that question with a Scripture: "I (Jesus) have come as a light to shine in a dark world so that all who put their trust in Me will no longer walk in darkness" (John 12:46).

"God met me there in the darkness, and He did not condemn me; He loved me right where I was," shared Drake. "It was as though He removed scales from my eyes so I could take a long, hard look at my life. And I didn't like what I saw."

Looking back, Drake says her childhood was fairly normal, except she missed seeing her dad who was a workaholic and always gone. A major turning point in her life came when she was 14 years old. She was raped by an older boy. She told no one and carried the emotional pain of this
trauma into her adult life.

"I was never free from the shame and humiliation of being raped, and I began drinking heavily at 15 to numb the pain," Drake remarked.

Sadly, her life continued its downward spiral when, at 16, she had her first abortion, and at 18, started smoking pot. Two years later, she got married and soon after tried her first line of cocaine.

"After about six months of marriage," said Drake, "my husband and I started using pornography as a stimulus in the bedroom. One thing led to another, and we became entrenched in a lifestyle of pornography, drugs, and alcohol addiction that lasted more than 13 years."

Although in the beginning Drake and her husband were successful in business, the addictions began to take their toll, resulting in lost jobs and ruined credit.

It was at that very low point in her life when someone mentioned to Drake that she was pretty enough to be a
dancer in a night club. Her husband was in favor of the idea, and she began job-hunting.

When Drake interviewed at Deja´ Vu, the managers told her how beautiful and glamorous and sexy she was. "That was exactly what I needed to hear," she explained, "because I never felt like I measured up to the sexy girls my husband saw in the porn magazines and videos. I hoped he
would think I was as sexy as they were if he realized other men lusted after me."

Soon she was dancing as a "show girl." But it wasn't long until the glitter and excitement began to wear off, and she realized that Deja´ Vu was nothing more than a dark pit of prostitution and addiction.

"To cope with the shame I felt, I turned more and more to
cocaine," commented Drake. "I would have to get stoned in order to get naked on stage. It was a sad and degrading life, and I began to hate it. But God knew where I was all the time, and He never let me go."

Indeed, God was working in her life in a powerful way. On Easter Sunday, 1997, Drake's mother, who had recently rededicated her own life to Christ, invited the entire family to church. They went, and miraculously, three weeks later, Drake, her husband and their oldest son all accepted Christ as their personal Savior.

Drake continued her job at Deja´ Vu but quickly became convicted of the need to change her life in drastic ways. After one month as a Christian, Drake's husband came to her and said, "Kimberly, you need to close down the Deja´ Vu." Her immediate reaction was, "I don't think so. I'm resting on my salvation, thank you very much."

But she did quit her job, and as a result of God's presence in her life, began to feel a deep need to do something about closing down the strip clubs and hard core pornography businesses in her community.

She began to pray and research extensively and discovered
several organizations across the nation that are working to stamp out pornography while also providing counseling and assistance for pornography victims.

She met Gene McConnell, former vice-president of victim assistance for the National Coalition for Protection of
Children and Families. Drake says McConnell is the person responsible for providing her with the foundation she needed to begin the healing process in her own life.

"God is a relational God, and when we are sinned against
relationally, He uses reparative relationships to heal us," Drake continued. "He has given me several wonderful mentors who have accepted me and loved me and understood my pain.

People like Phil Burress, director of Citizens for Community Values in Ohio, himself a former porn addict. And
Phil's wife, Vickie, AFA state director in Indiana. Vickie also has a ministry called 'Victims of Pornography.' Amy Dupree, who ministers to strippers who want out of the lifestyle in Dallas, is a friend who is familiar with my
struggles as well."

These people's influence, coupled with her own calling to give hope to people suffering from sexual addictions, resulted in Drake founding Spokane's Citizens for Community Values in March of 1999.

Since that time, the Spokane CCV has been successful in helping to get ordinances passed that resulted in pertinent restrictions on sexually-oriented businesses; a strip club has closed down; a Pornography Awareness Week has been instituted; and a conference held to educate pastors,
counselors and lay ministers about the problems surrounding porn addiction and sexual brokenness.

Currently, Drake and her volunteers are involved in a campaign to encourage AT&T to stop cablecasting a hard-core pornographic program called Hot Network. When asked what help she could offer to people who feel totally trapped
and unable to overcome an addiction, Drake had this advice:

Face the fact you have a problem.
Trace its source through counseling or contact with an
organization that specializes in healing your particular type of addiction.
Erase the lies Satan has planted in your life by allowing God to replace them with His Truth and unconditional love.

Drake mentioned a quote by Pastor Bill Hybels that sums up her feelings: "You will never lock eyes with a stranger that doesn't matter to God." "And that includes the stripper, the prostitute, the men and women who
are caught up in the addiction of sex and pornography,"
concluded Drake. "Every single one of them matters to God."