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Ashley Madison: Who Got Betrayed?

Tuesday, September 15, 2015 @ 1:27 PM
Ashley Madison: Who Got Betrayed? Anne Reed AFA Journal MORE

Ashley Madison. Such a pretty name with such an ugly purpose. Proverbs 11:22 (ESV) comes to mind: “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” 

In the wake of the Ashley Madison data release, the organization, whose sole purpose is to promote adultery, has boasted about its nearly 40 million worldwide subscribers. In the U.S. alone, 1,083,518 paid accounts were discovered.   

The hackers stated their purpose in releasing the stolen information was to expose Ashley Madison’s dishonest business practices. Really? A website that entices married people to deceive and cheat on their spouses would operate fraudulently? 

Ashley Madison’s advertisements promised a full delete feature for those interested in covering their tracks. By paying $19, a subscriber could remove “site usage history and personally identifiable information.” And Ashley Madison was raking in some serious bucks from the magic erase feature – $1.7 million in 2014. But in reality, the users’ purchase details were not being scrapped at all. 

Ashley Madison lied … and cheated. And they got busted. 

So did countless other cheaters – mostly men. And isn’t that really the big story? Everyone wants to know, "Who is on the list?" 

But, how is that fair? Many of them paid good money to have their slates wiped clean. Are they now victims of Ashley Madison? Or are they victims of the hackers? Perhaps both, but primarily, they are victims of their own sin. James 1:14-15 (ESV) says, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” 

Millions more whose names are not found on the infamous list – the betrayed spouses –are suffering in silence in the aftermath of this scandalous media frenzy. Although the story will soon fade into the background, the pain will remain. 

Melody Lovvorn, co-founder of the non-profit Undone Redone, Inc. and vice president of Route 1520, LLC, knows the ravaging consequences of adultery as the betrayed spouse. 

This week, she has released a new online course to help women who are currently experiencing the pain of betrayal and infidelity. Melody transparently shares her own story, offering first-hand perspective and a clear path to healing and hope. 

“Life Beyond Betrayal is the collective wisdom and understanding I have personally gleaned from my own experience,” said Melody, “along with hundreds of conversations in coffee shops and over the phone with other women who have experienced betrayal and infidelity. I want to help women learn from the mistakes that I made and the mistakes of others so that their pain isn’t prolonged.”

The course was developed with compassion and confidentiality in mind and spans 30 days. It can be accessed on a computer, tablet, or smartphone. 

Resources are also available for the cheater and for those who are in a position to help: 

  • Ministry leaders

  • Friend of a cheater

  • Friend of the betrayed 

Tray and Melody were married for 11 years but divorced after infidelity destroyed their marriage. Six years later, they were reconciled and remarried each other. They often say, “Our divorce didn’t work out.” 

Tray and Melody’s story will be featured in the November issue of the AFA Journal. Click here for a free one-year subscription.

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