What Is Marriage?

Our four-year-old son likes to ask a lot of questions; he likes to ask questions a lot. (My husband would say he is a lot like me when it comes to asking questions; I’m OK with that. Asking questions is a way of learning.) 

Some of his questions call for easy answers. Others are more challenging and prompt a great deal of thought. After all, we seek to be open and honest with our son. I don’t want to give him a canned answer out of convenience or tell him what he wants to hear just so he will quit asking questions. Although it is tempting at times, and at times I give in. 

Like last week. We were on vacation at the beach when one of his questions took me by surprise. Not only is our son very inquisitive, he is also very attentive to the conversations around him. So when my husband read the news and announced to me the SCOTUS decision on same sex marriage, our son’s natural response, as if on cue, was “what is Daddy talking about?” “What’s going on?”   

Not wanting to address the topic of homosexuality with a four-year-old, I quickly brushed his inquiry aside and responded: “Daddy is talking about marriage.” 

“What is marriage?” he asked. 

“You know, it’s like Mommy and Daddy, when we got married,” I quickly replied. 

Even though I could sense more questions churning in his little mind, he seemed to be satisfied with my poor answer and turned his attention elsewhere. 

While I don’t believe our four-year-old is ready for a discussion on homosexuality, I could have given him a better definition of marriage. I could have explained to him what the Bible says about marriage, why Mommy and Daddy chose to get married and what our marriage represents. But instead I was flustered and hurried and just said something. 

Then this morning as I was driving to work and listening to a discussion on the radio about what the SCOTUS decision on marriage means for our children and their future, it hit me. Actually, it scared me! I can’t just say something. I can’t avoid what is now being accepted as the norm in our nation. I have to seize every opportunity I can to teach and model the Word of God to my children, when we sit, when we walk, when we lie down and when we rise (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). 

For when they are captured by His Word, they will live a life according to His Word, even in the midst of a world that disregards His Word. 

So how do we biblically parent our children in a world of gay marriage? 

Greg Gibson, executive editor and communications director for The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, offers 10 practical suggestions for “Talking with Your Kids About the SCOTUS Marriage Decision.” 

I encourage you to read the entire article, but here are the highlights in a nutshell. 

1. Talk honestly and openly about sin, homosexuality, and gay marriage with your children.
2. Model to your children a marriage that is a picture of the gospel.
3. Teach your children the biblical foundations for marriage.
4. Teach your children the biblical foundations for sex.
5.  Protect your children from the influences of pornography.
6. Pray fervently for and with your children.
7. Partner with a gospel-centered local church that will come alongside you and teach the truths of Scripture.
8. Teach your children biblical gender roles.
9. Train your children towards courageous biblical manhood and womanhood.
10. Don’t panic.  Trust in God.  He is still in control.  His plan will still win. 

… And He does win. The Bible tells us so.