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In Loving Memory of Common Sense

Monday, October 16, 2023 @ 10:17 AM In Loving Memory of Common Sense Lauren Bragg Stand Writer MORE

Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of one who has no sense (Proverbs 10:13).

Common Sense, age unknown, passed away on March 15 year 2020, in homes and minds all across the globe after a decades-long battle with humanity. He was a dear friend and disdained enemy to many. His presence was often described as a gift and a punishment. Mr. Sense worked much of his life, if not all of it, in service to justice as well as the keeping and protecting of mankind. In his spare time, he dabbled in keeping hands off of hot stoves and reminding us not to stick safety pins into electrical outlets.

For the greater majority of his time here on the big rock, Common Sense found that his job was uncomplicated. Boys were boys, girls were girls and if a man wanted to eat, he had to work. There seemed to be an unspoken gentlemen’s agreement between the parties. That is, until the man started to abandon his end of the deal, loosening his grip on the handshake. Slowly at first, then suddenly it was as if it were a race to see who could get to the finish line of stupidity the fastest.

Though it is impossible to know the date on which his sufferings began, it is clear that his condition rapidly worsened at the turn of the century. Upon the onset of Y2k, it was almost as if the ice had thawed and released just enough half-baked, mostly brain-dead Neanderthals to set about the decay of what was left of his relationship with the humans.

At first, it was global warming and “Happy Holidays” – light work. Common Sense, frail and fatigued, clung to life, holding fast to his duty to man.  

Soon, students couldn’t pray in school, but drag queens could pop by for storytime.

Airline patrons were instructed to stand six feet apart in TSA lines; the same patrons who, just moments later, would be sitting elbow to elbow with each other in an ill-ventilated aircraft.

Children under the age of 18 can’t get a tattoo, smoke or vote, but they can permanently alter their bodies via sex-change surgery, without the consent of their parents no less.

Endangered species get billboards along major highways, but human children are being dismembered and having their brains vacuumed out of their heads in the name of health care.

A man cannot have a say in the issue of abortion without being accosted in the streets, but he can, however, pretend to have a uterus.

If a white woman braids her hair she is a racist, but a man is celebrated for appropriating womanhood.

We are supposed to introduce foods to our new babies one at a time to avoid allergic reactions, but at their two-month well-check parents are gaslit by the CDC to give eight vaccinations to their newborn in one sitting.

A pregnant woman should avoid eating sushi to keep from exposing her growing baby to mercury, but moments after birth that same baby is whisked away to be pumped full of other metals by way of the Hepatitis B and Vitamin K vaccines. Hep B, by the way, is most commonly a sexually transmitted disease or passed along by way of sharing heroin needles.

Guns are being banned for killing people, but spoons aren’t on the chopping block blamed for obesity.

The list is longer than there is space to write it.

Common Sense fought bravely, with a boldness that many do not possess. Ultimately his heart, aching and stretched thin, ripped right down the middle. It is certain that his absence has already proven catastrophic. We can only pray that the roots of his legacy are nestled deep in the hearts of those who loved him.

Mr. Sense was preceded in death by his brothers, Critical Thinking and Accountability. He leaves behind his father, Integrity, as well as his mother, Wisdom, though both are reported to be in poor health.

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