To Share or Not To Share

Take a moment and picture taking your child, grandchild, or maybe your niece or nephew to a public place. It could be a mall, a park, a grocery store, or an amusement park.

In this make-believe scene, it’s a beautiful day outside.

Currently, you are sitting in the passenger seat as your spouse diligently drives you and this child (or children) to the chosen destination, where a fun-filled day is planned. On the way, you snap a simple picture of the kid in the backseat and share an image on your social media page, perhaps with the caption, “Looking forward to a fun day at the park!”

You think nothing more of it.

Once you arrive at your location, you unload the child and head to the swing set, but as you walk that way, you notice something strange.

Everyone who passes by you acknowledges the child you have brought with you – but not you or your spouse. It is almost as if they were waiting for you and knew your exact location.

You notice that as they speak to the child, they know her name, age, the sports she plays, her birthday, and even the laughable mistakes she’s made and how you have responded to them.

You and your spouse are immediately triggered.

What is happening?

Why do strangers know so much about the child you have brought with you for a simple outing?

They know because you told them.

In today’s digital world, many parents share personal, important, and critical information about their children (or young loved ones) without a second thought. This practice, called “sharenting,” affects both children and families.

The Oxford English Dictionary describes sharenting as “the action or practice of sharing news, images, or videos of one’s children on social media websites.”

It seems simple, harmless even!

As parents, we are proud of our children. Of course, we want to share their accomplishments with everyone we know.

But sometimes, predators can use the very information we have freely given on social media to harm our children or use their likeness for another agenda.

A few weeks ago, “Data Protection Commission Ireland” released an advertisement on YouTube titled “Pause before you post.” Just like the scenario mentioned above, in this 40-second ad, everyone who encountered this family knew everything about the little girl in the video.

Perhaps even more disturbing was that at the end, one of the men saved the child’s picture on his personal device!

I do not want to imagine why a stranger would save an unknown child’s photo.

Yet, it happens.

In the world of AI, there is also software that can age a child and make them appear to be doing something they have not done. Scammers can take anyone’s voice clips posted online and use them in their scams. Meanwhile, individuals (both predators and bullies) can take innocent vacation images of children or teens that can be manipulated to make them appear nude (also known as deepfakes) or worse.

Unfortunately, this type of content creation may seem far-fetched or something that only celebrities have to worry about – but in reality, it is much deeper and darker, and something that even the most ordinary parent should be made aware of.

The National Library of Medicine released a 2024 Italian Journal of Pediatrics article that revealed some truths uncovered through a poll of parents about their online sharing practices. It found:

Two hundred twenty-eight parents of children under 18 years of age completed the questionnaire (82% mothers, 18% fathers); 98% of the respondents used social media[,] and 75% of them published their children’s related content online.
Thirty-one percent of the compilers started their practice of sharenting in the first 6 months of life of their child.
The social media most frequently used for this practice are Facebook (54%), Instagram (16%)[,] and X (former Twitter) (12%). The risks and consequences of sharenting are varied in nature and complex to fully comprehend, as they also involve legal issues related to child image protection, data privacy[,] and digital security.

The study also found that 93% of the parents polled were unaware of the dangers and risks of sharing their child so freely online, which can include identity theft, sexual exploitation, emotional distress, and more.

Thankfully, change can come.

As parents, we have been given the job to protect our children at all costs. We’re supposed to raise them to eat their veggies, not to touch things that will burn them, and to teach them about the dangers of talking to strangers or individuals who could harm them.

We should also protect them from online harm.

Instead of posting critical information or photos of our children with everyone online, we can choose to share this type of material only with trusted family members and friends. When it comes to posting children online, it is best to share obscure information and faceless photos or not post them at all.

Think about it this way. Would we feel comfortable with every one of our online friends or followers celebrating each holiday, vacation, birthday, or special occasion with our children?

If the answer is no, then maybe we should reconsider making those posts.

We can protect our children by being careful about what we share with our digital followers and friends. Will we make that choice?

For more information on what and how to share online, this article from The University of Alabama at Birmingham offers great advice.

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