What We're Learning About Protecting Kids

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Planning the fifth episode of the Impact Series was, at first, a pretty mundane task, full of research and following leads that sometimes ended up nowhere. At times, it was slightly discouraging.

The Impact Series is a collection of short documentaries about bold individuals who are radically influencing culture for the kingdom of God. We believe that courage inspires courage, so by sharing other people’s stories of taking a stand, we hope to encourage others to be bold as well.

The initial plan was to produce the fifth episode on protecting women’s sports. Efforts to reach Riley Gaines for an interview fell flat. While that was disappointing, I’ve learned that when something doesn’t work out, God often has something else in mind.

I was plugging along with research when a co-worker sent me this video of Heidi Olson talking about her experience as a pediatric sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE) and the growing issue of child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA).

Every piece of information I found afterward seemed to uncover darker and darker truths about the realities of childhood sexual abuse.

Heidi’s work as a SANE nurse gave her the opportunity to speak with numerous children who had experienced sexual assault. Through those examinations and interviews, she began noticing a troubling pattern: children were sexually assaulting other children.

The common denominator? Early exposure to pornography.

Children were viewing explicit content online and then acting out what they saw on other children.

As difficult as the topic was, the team at American Family Studios knew this was an issue that the AFA and AFR audience needed to understand. Once AFA leadership approved, I got to work setting up interviews.

As I did that, I started thinking about how the episode might unfold and what the main points should be. With these kinds of projects, though, you never really know how an episode will turn out.

One thing I did know, though, was that I didn’t want viewers to walk away feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, or afraid, because that’s exactly how I was feeling while researching the issue.

When I sat down with Heidi, my concerns quickly faded. She spoke honestly about the harsh reality of early exposure to pornography, but everything she said was framed through the lens of her faith.

“And so I think for me, it's really grounding to say, okay, the thing I'm seeing in front of me is really hard. I also know that the God we serve is way bigger than this, and He is actively involved in bringing healing and hope and salvation to us.” [A direct quote from Heidi’s interview].

My conclusion?

If Heidi can remain hopeful after seeing what she’s seen and hearing what she’s heard, then so can we.

And that’s good news.

While her calm approach to such a heavy issue was comforting (and honestly surprising given the nature of her work), something else she said during our interview really stuck out to me.

Until that conversation, I didn’t realize that sex trafficking can include the exchange of gaming currency for sexual acts.

In some cases, children on gaming platforms meet people (sometimes adults, sometimes other minors) and agree to meet them for sex in exchange for in-game currency. (See this recent press release from Georgia’s Attorney General, Chris Carr, for additional insight on this issue.)

In other situations, the child never meets the person in real life but instead sends explicit photos or videos in exchange for gaming coins or other rewards.

While this information is disturbing, it raises an important question:

What does this mean practically for parents, grandparents, Sunday school teachers, pastors, and anyone else who interacts with children?

It changes the way we talk about trafficking. It changes the way we inform our children about what to look out for.

For many of us, the typical narrative around trafficking looks like this: a child is kidnapped, taken far away, and never seen again.

While that does happen, trafficking can also be far more subtle.

The child in the scenarios above may still live at home. They may go to school every day. The adults in their lives may have no idea what’s happening.

And often, the child doesn’t realize it either.

It starts with grooming. Grooming, according to this definition on Bravehearts, is described as the preparatory (or ‘lead up’) stage of child sexual abuse that offenders use to gain the trust and compliance of the child or young person (and those around them) and to establish secrecy and silence to avoid disclosure.

Groomers are patient. They build trust slowly. They meet emotional needs and create a sense of connection before introducing exploitation.

So what’s the antidote?

There may never be a foolproof way to ensure a child never encounters pornography or grooming. Even if your child doesn’t have a smartphone or unrestricted internet access, someone in their friend group likely will.

But a healthy combination of education, sensible restrictions, and strong relationships can go a long way toward protecting children.

Education

Before we can educate our children, we have to educate ourselves.

Anyone who spends time with kids (parents, teachers, church leaders, mentors) can benefit from learning what grooming looks like, sounds like, and feels like. Understanding the warning signs helps adults recognize when something may be wrong.

Sensible Restrictions

Practical safeguards matter.

Things like content filters, time limits, removing chat features from games, and removing saved payment methods on gaming platforms are all wise precautions for children who will inevitably spend time online.

The goal isn’t to eliminate technology entirely.

The goal is to help children learn how to use it wisely and responsibly.

Relationship Building

Perhaps the most powerful, and often overlooked, tool of all is relationship.

Strong relationships help close the gap between secret online interactions and parental awareness.

When children know they can talk to a trusted adult without fear of immediate panic or punishment, they are far more likely to speak up when something uncomfortable or confusing happens.

Heidi was able to help many children simply by creating a calm, safe space where they felt comfortable sharing their experiences.

We can do the same.

We can be a safe place for children to land when something goes wrong, and, ideally, a source of prevention before harm ever occurs.

That’s why conversations and relationships matter just as much as restrictions.

If your child has a negative experience online or in person and feels comfortable enough to tell you about it, that’s a huge win.

If you’d like to learn more from Heidi and hear the full conversation, her episode of the Impact Series is available when you support AFA with a donation at www.afa.net/protect.

Watch this bonus feature from The Heidi Olson Story where Heidi talks about trafficking and online gaming: https://youtu.be/5ufIzt3-jgE

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