“Picture perfect.”
Those words have been rattling in my brain for the last few days. Growing up, they reminded me of school pictures. Before each picture, I would have to sit still in an uncomfortable chair so my mom could get me ready. There was little she could do for my two missing teeth, but she combed and curled my hair like the best of them. The only problem? By the time I made it to school and the photographer snapped the picture, my hair would be nothing but a big frizz ball.
It always gave my mom a good laugh. However, it infuriated my grandmother. One year, my mom decided to let her give it a go. She styled and sprayed, but nevertheless, when the pictures came back, there stood a child with no front teeth and wild red hair.
We’ve come a long way since the days of elementary school pictures. But the older I’ve gotten, the more I understand what “they” mean by “picture perfect.” And they do mean, well, perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect outfit. Perfect filter. I mean these “they” people have nothing on Mary Poppins who was “practically perfect in every way.” No, these people are vicious when it comes to perfection.
I ran into these people in question a few days ago. “They” appeared uninvited through a picture on social media that popped up in my memories. I almost didn’t recognize the girl in it. She was skinny, thin, and kind of looked like a model, although she wouldn’t have believed that at the time. Her hair was straight, and her makeup was well done. But what the picture didn’t tell, was the story of that girl. She so badly wanted to gain weight. So much so, that she was forcing herself to eat spoonfuls’ of peanut butter in effort to gain a few pounds. Just by looking at that picture, I could hear them. They were saying, “Don’t worry! It’ll catch up to you.”
Fast forward to this summer.
On a boat ride, a lady snapped a picture of me sleeping on my husband’s shoulder. She thought we were adorable. (I couldn’t blame her.) But as I looked at the moment frozen in time, I saw another girl I didn’t recognize. Instead of eating peanut butter to gain weight, this girl looked like she’d eaten everything in sight for months and months. She was at least 70 pounds heavier than the first picture. Was this what “they” were talking about? Is this what “they” meant? Is that bulging tummy the spot where “their” eyes immediately go?
In the last 25 years, I’ve learned that “they” are nothing more than the devil. Yes, there are unattainable beauty standards (especially for American women). But those little voices? Those moments of doubt and insecurity? They are nothing more than lies from the enemy himself.
It shouldn’t be true that when a woman of any age looks at a wide range of pictures from her life, without hesitation, she finds the ugliest parts. That hairdo? Too frizzy. Our smiles? Too many teeth showing. The belly? Too big or too small. (Both can be equally dissatisfying.)
But deep down, beneath those still shots of time, what’s the true story?
Recently, my husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary with a beautiful sunset photoshoot. One picture, in particular, caught my eye. In it, my husband, the one I prayed for my entire life, had his arms wrapped around me. We were laughing at something he said. We were genuinely happy – and very much in love.
The picture made me stop and think. … Do you really think that at that moment my husband was thinking about how many pounds I’ve gained since we met? Of course not. Likewise, do you think on that fun beach vacation your child was thinking about the sunset not being a perfect background? Do you think that in the many years ahead when your loved one has beat you to heaven that you’ll really care about your hairstyle? Absolutely not.
I believe photography is one of the greatest technologies available. But these ever-changing beauty standards are impossible to keep up with. Instead, if we choose to look at pictures and remember the laughs, memories, and moments, I think we’ll gain a better understanding of what it really means to have a picture that’s perfect.
We are made in the image of God. Yep. Frizzy hair and all, we are image bearers of Him. And if He wants me to have a little extra fluff alongside those happy memories, then so be it. Those memories are special because they are filled with celebrations, sunsets, and time spent with the ones we love most – not what size our jeans are.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)
