What God has joined together
Marriage is my favorite gift, but sometimes I forget its power.
Every month, between parents, grandparents, work, and friends, my husband and I juggle many calendars. As the beginning of each month appears in my planner, my stomach starts to knot. Looking at the four precious weekends we’re given each month, my brain screams, “You have to fit this all in! I don’t know how, but figure it out!”
Pencil in hand, I start marking, planning, and praying for wisdom and understanding. And before I know it, each precious day is filled with events, with only a few scheduled for ourselves. As I recently expressed my impending exhaustion to my husband, his response was to take a weekend all to ourselves.
So, we did.
As I sat across the table from my husband, deep in conversation, nothing else mattered. I was reminded of years ago when we started getting to know each other. As the topic rolled around to our plans for the next few weeks, he quickly reminded me of something I forget from time to time.
“Remember, we’re our own unit,” he said.
In the hustle and bustle of extended family life, it is easy to forget verses such as Mark 10:7-9:
For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate (Mark 10:7-9).
Those verses don’t say, “The couple will be joined in holy matrimony and then be spread so thin that they are too tired to enjoy one another.” No, it says, “A man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Sure, extended families and children are a blessing and very much necessary! But Scripture clearly teaches that nothing on this planet is more important than the relationship between a husband and a wife. Without it, homes, lives, and peace are forever destroyed.
When the Lord gifted us with marriage, He gave us a sneak peek at understanding His mighty love and grace. The picture of marriage is a replica of Christ’s love for the church. Scripture explains it best in Ephesians 5:22-31:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Some women read this as restrictive and old-fashioned. They see the word “submit” and want to run for the hills. But what sticks out most to me in the passage as a wife is God’s command to husbands. Their job is to love and serve their spouse as Christ loved the church. And how much did Christ love the church? Enough to give His life.
When married couples abide by these words, the gospel is fulfilled. Their lives are filled with joy and the Spirit of the Lord. In fact, honor, respect, and dignity seep through every floorboard in their home. But when anything competes with this type of love – whether it be family, poor time management, addiction, or anything else – we lose out on the blessing He so desperately wants to give. Not to mention, we also open the doors for the enemy to attack.
As couples continually point each other to the Lord, they are preparing themselves for the glory that awaits in heaven. There will be no more pain, tears, suffering, or even schedules to make. Instead, we will forever sing the praises of the one true King!
And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God (Revelation 19:9).
