For anyone who has ever prayed for a baby by Christmas, let me just say, I get it. The holidays can be brutal when you have unmet desires to grow your family. Every December 25 marks the passing of time and yet another year without an extra stocking to hang or a little person to help you decorate the snowman cookies.
It’s so easy to let your disappointment turn into a dark cloud that casts a nasty shadow all season long. Not to mention the guilt you may feel for even having the dark cloud in the first place!
“Why can’t I shake off this feeling? Christmas is supposed to be about Christ!” You may tell yourself.
For me, a big part of the battle was recognizing that God didn’t owe me anything. It was tempting to think that because my husband and I both waited till we were married to be together, were faithful tithers, and served the church, God somehow owed us a child—especially when we looked around and saw other people having children who were living in habitual sin.
But that’s not how it works.
God doesn’t dole out children based on the merit of the parents. And thank God He doesn’t, because if that were the case, there wouldn’t be any humans on the earth at all. None of us are righteous, no, not one! That included me.
The ability to bear children is something you might call a “common grace” that God has given to humanity. But unfortunately, we live in a fallen and broken world that is marred by sin and affects every area of the human experience – including our fertility. Current studies show that more than 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility, and at least 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.
These statistics are staggering. But I think it’s important to stop and remember that this was never God’s intention. He created a world without endometriosis, ovarian cancer, or male factor infertility, and we were the ones who messed all that up when we chose to do things our way. But thank God, there was a rescue plan from the very beginning. God, in His grace, chose to send His one and only Son into our broken world as the perfect atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Because of His death and resurrection, He now offers the gift of salvation to anyone who believes. That’s the essence of the Christmas story: God giving us a free gift. This may seem cliché, and if you grew up in the church, you’ve heard it a thousand times, but it really is everything.
So, if you are a believer struggling with the dark cloud of infertility this year, I’d like to challenge you to ask the Lord to refresh in your mind the simple beauty of salvation and all the riches that you have been given in Christ. Ask the Lord to restore unto you the joy of your salvation. I promise He can pour so much joy and hope into your heart amid the pain. He did for me.
Now, unfortunately, that doesn’t mean the dull ache in your heart goes away. I think it’s helpful to realize that it’s not wrong to feel the burden of infertility. That is a very human response, and you don’t need to feel guilty for it. But keep in mind that what makes us different than the rest of the world is that in the midst of our struggle, we have hope. We can cling to Jesus – the anchor of our soul who holds us firm and secure through any storm.
Lastly, don’t go through infertility alone. God hasn’t designed us to live in isolation but to help each other through our weaknesses. Reach out to someone you can trust.
I’d also like to invite you to join the Hannah’s Heart community. I co-host a radio show and podcast called Hannah’s Heart that airs every weekend. We have a wonderful group of people who would love to encourage you and walk with you on our journey. Click here to connect with us and listen to our most recent episode that dives even deeper into the topic of infertility and how to cling to the hope found in Christ during the holidays.
