Rethinking Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is a dreaded day for many mothers and women – whether because of childlessness, bereavement, singleness, estrangement from a child or parent, marital problems, or their own perceived inadequacies.

Pastors – aware of the complex issues that face many of the women in their congregations – are equally challenged with the dilemma of sensitively addressing the day in a sermon that is likely under 30 minutes. Often, the safest response is to return to the solid biblical foundation of the Proverbs 31 woman – the gold standard of womanhood for all ages and stages. There is certainly nothing wrong with going back to scriptural orthodoxy. The problem is that no woman likes being compared to another woman – especially to the Proverbs 31 woman, who is perfect … or is she?g 

Relationship with the King

In the book Running on Empty: The Gospel for Women in Ministry, pastor’s wife and missionary Barbara Bancroft shares how the woman depicted in Proverbs 31 sets what seems like an impossible standard for women to meet. Bancroft felt the pressure of that passage until she came to understand that the significance of it centers not on the woman’s deeds or character but on her relationship with the king.

“The woman described in Proverbs 31 will have great wealth and influence because her husband is the king,” she wrote. “The assumption is that her position as his wife and [having] his wealth at her disposal will enable her to accomplish the amazing things [the biblical author] describes.”

Bancroft explained that viewing the Old Testament Proverbs 31 passage in the context of a New Testament understanding makes it clear that the king is a forerunner, a type of Christ. The king’s life-changing impact on his wife is an apt reminder of how Christ radically transforms lives in relationship to Him.

“It is out of the wealth of the king and her position as his wife that the virtuous woman is able to be and do all the things in this passage,” Bancroft told The Stand. “Proverbs 31 is a description of Jesus’ relationship with His bride, the church. The idea is that we are connected to this King who is very wealthy and who has all these resources for us to use. And that is something we can get excited about!”

Bountiful provision

Instead of succumbing to frustration over what seems like an impossible standard and sinking into the self-defeating mire of comparison to others, women can rejoice in the reality that God’s grace covers their shortcomings. Women can cling to the hope that if they fully surrender themselves in their relationship with Him, He will manifest Himself in their lives in ways beyond their own abilities. Instead of an inward focus, women (and men) are meant to live with an outward focus – receiving from God and giving to others.

“With Christ as our focus, we can appreciate the amazing truths this passage reveals,” Bancroft wrote. “Our King’s bountiful provision for us, His bride, gives us all we need to be extravagantly creative as we love and serve Him and seek to bless those around us. … How cruel that women have been encouraged to see the ‘virtuous woman’ as a law of Christian womanhood rather than a lavish relationship in which to rejoice!”

This Mother’s Day, instead of dwelling on appearances and accomplishments, failures or achievements, let the focus be on the King and His redeeming relationship, which gives value to all people – those who are mothers and those who are not.

(Digital Editor's Note: This article was published first in the May 2025 print edition of The Stand. Click Here for a free six-month subscription.)