Choosing the Best Gift

“I take thee, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

These are the words that my husband spoke to me on August 7, 2021.

Just last week, we celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. I know that for many of you reading, four years is a drop in the bucket compared to the decades of marriage you may have experienced. Nevertheless, these four years have been full of everything from incredible milestones to tragic heartaches.  

One of our yearly anniversary traditions includes watching our wedding video and looking back at pictures from that day. This past weekend, as I watched that magical day unfold on film, I couldn’t help but think about the two stars of that show and how little they knew about life from the day they said “I do.”

Our wedding day was picture-perfect. Everything was filled with excitement, beauty, and hope. We didn’t dare believe strife would come our way!

Until it did.

The day that I wore all white, I didn’t know how many days to come we would fill with tears. I didn’t know that we would have fears of never being able to have a baby of our own, have to deal with challenging family circumstances, attend funerals of loved ones so soon, and everything in between. Just this year alone, we faced the heartache of losing our sweet baby via miscarriage – something I never considered could happen to us, let alone would. Yet, through all of these unfortunate days, my husband has lived out the vows he made to me on that sunny August day.

But he didn’t stop there.

Just as he has been present in the middle of the “for worse” days, he has been committed to making the “for better” ones even more meaningful. Last year, we embarked on our best adventure yet as we welcomed our sweet firstborn home from the hospital. During pregnancy, I faced gestational hypertension and (the week before he was born) severe preeclampsia that led to an emergency C-section delivery. Throughout it all, my husband stood by my side, helping, encouraging, and loving me in every aspect.

Although these are just a few moments from the first four years, looking back, all of these days combined are far more meaningful than our wedding day was. Every day hasn’t been easy, but no matter what we’ve faced, we have consistently chosen each other.

However, the more I examine our culture today, I realize that this type of love, joy, and commitment is dwindling. For those of us who have been blessed with the gift of marriage, now, more than ever, we must make a daily decision to choose our spouse.

A USA Facts article shared that:

In 2024, U.S. adults were less likely to be married than at almost any point since the Census Bureau began tracking marital status in 1940. Fewer people are marrying, and they’re doing it later — both men and women are older when they first tie the knot. Most unmarried people have never been married, rather than divorced or widowed, although divorces have risen.

As stated above, many married couples are choosing divorce. 

“The share of divorced men and women has increased. In 1950, 2.0% of men and 2.4% of women were divorced. In 2024, those figures were 8.4% for men, 10.8% for women,” the article continued.

I should add that in the event of abuse, I believe and encourage both women and men to seek help and counsel. The Bible itself speaks of adultery (Matthew 19:9).

However, studies are showing that there are other reasons individuals are choosing divorce. The Institute for Family Studies reported, “The top three reasons people gave were: A lack of commitment, too much conflict or arguing, [and] infidelity or extramarital affairs.”

One of the most common is a lack of commitment - a failure to choose to love the one who was once loved enough to receive a marriage proposal.

This reality saddens me greatly.

Because for Christ followers, we understand that there is more to marriage than just words. Those vows are a covenant – a moment when a cord of three strands is woven together (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Marriage is a gift from heaven itself!

Scripture explains a few of these gifts. A few include:

• The gifts and responsibilities of being man and wife (Ephesians 5:22-33).
• How a good wife can be a gift for her husband (Proverbs 18:22).
• The gift of becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Marriage was heavenly designed – for the good days and the bad days. However, to get the most out of this gift we’ve been given, we must commit to choosing our loved one every day.

After all, if the devil can make you turn away from your spouse - the one that your soul loves - what else will he try to destroy?

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate (Matthew 19:6).