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ADHD.
I briefly studied it in college. I mildly dealt with it when I became a special education teacher for developmentally delayed children seventeen years ago. Today, it’s a term our society hears all the time and a label we use loosely. However, I never understood it and felt the weight of it until a true diagnosis of ADHD became a part of our own home.
Our first three sons are stair steps in age. Though they were never perfect, they were well-behaved, obedient, and easy. We could take them anywhere and do anything without the slightest worry about how they would react or respond to different situations or environments. Looking back now, I realize what a gift that was and how we took it for granted.
When our third son was seven years old, God blessed us with another baby boy. Two years later, we were completely surprised to find out we were expecting our fifth son, who was born during a worldwide pandemic - on election day!
Pocket, as he was affectionately nick-named by his brother, was a beautiful, healthy baby, but since there were four brothers before him, I knew something about him was very different at ten months old. As time progressed, I became more puzzled by him and increasingly defeated as our once quiet, peaceful home became a den of destruction. The non-stop crying and screaming had us all frazzled, and keeping him alive was an exhausting full-time job for all six of us. No matter how hard we tried to be ten steps ahead of him, the dangerous impulsivity always caught us off guard. Life changed drastically for us. No more fun family outings, eating at restaurants, visiting friends, or even family. It was more miserable to stay home, but it was easier than constantly worrying about him getting away from us or causing a scene.
After a long three-year battle of seeking help and trying to keep my sanity, God led us to a Christian therapist who could finally see what we saw - a precious little boy who was enduring his own battle of genuine ADHD and desperately needing help. Even though he was outgoing, helpful, funny, and intelligent, he couldn’t stop himself or give an answer for why he constantly destroyed things or why he was reckless or angry. However, I knew deep down he didn’t want to disappoint us or deliberately do mean things. With each birthday, I thought he would get better, but instead, it all intensified. His behavior, anxiety, and emotions were totally out of control, and his energy was endless!
Although we’ve been in therapy for two years now and he has made a great deal of progress, we still have our hard days. Our family is learning to be understanding and how to deal with this through structure and praise for his accomplishments, as he is learning to face his fears and practice self-control. We also still deal with judgmental adults who simply haven’t learned to adjust to the fact that he was purposefully created with a totally different brain, and he’s not being a pain on purpose. However, we’ve also been blessed by wonderful individuals who have a heart for Pocket, which is better than any medicine in the world.
One example of this occurred just this weekend.
I have always wanted to take my children to a play, but feared that as the lights went down and the curtain drew up, he would be terrified and bring drama to the theater like never before! However, our community theater was putting on Mary Poppins, and I could not resist.
As the lights dimmed and the crowd hushed in the historic 113-year-old building, he was very nervous and squirmed in his seat. Curious as to when the “screen” would come on, he whispered a series of questions loudly and really wanted to make an exit, until the beautiful and classy Mary Poppins appeared at the Banks residence. She played her part with excellence, and to our great surprise, he was captivated (and still) for the next two hours.
When the show ended, he was both thrilled because he loved it and heartbroken because he didn’t want it to end. Being our first play to attend, I had no idea the cast would be outside the building. We took our family photo and pointed out several of the characters to the boys.
As we were just about to leave, a friend who came with us caught Bert and Mary Poppins and asked if they would take a picture with our crew. In every picture, everyone is smiling at the camera - except Pocket. He was mesmerized by the Mary Poppins. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
As we thanked them and began to walk away, Pocket remained. Rarely does he ever stand still, but he stood like a statue as he watched her take more pictures and shake hands with other fans. Suddenly, she noticed the tiny little boy who stood in awe. She broke away from the crowd and came to him to ask if he would take his picture with her.
This was a priceless moment for a mother who had watched her child struggle, but it was a win for the child who needed to be noticed. She didn’t see him as the wild child or the troublemaker; he was just a little person who sincerely believed in all the big things she said she could do.
On the drive home, as he talked at top speed about his encounter with Mary Poppins, I couldn’t help but think of Zacchaeus.
Zacchaeus was despised and seen as a traitor to his own people because he collected more taxes than were owed to the Roman government and pocketed the rest. He had made himself very wealthy by cheating others.
But obviously, he was a miserable, misunderstood man, because he was desperate to see Jesus on the day he came to Jericho. Maybe he thought, “No one likes me. I wish I were different. I don’t want to be this way and treat people badly. If only I could see Jesus. If only he would notice me.”
Undeterred by the judgment of others, he climbed a tree to get a glimpse of Jesus. He, too, was just a little person who sincerely believed in all the big things his hero said he could do.
Much like Mary Poppins, Jesus noticed the one in the crowd that needed to be noticed, and his life was forever changed.
Pocket’s picture with Mary Poppins has already been printed and framed. That little boy carries it with pride around the house like a trophy, because at that moment, she gave him the confidence that made him feel victorious.
May we all strive to be more like Jesus and Mary Poppins to see past the “failures” and “flaws” and seek out the ones who need to be noticed the most.
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