... do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).
I dreamt of being a girl mom ever since I was a little girl, “mothering” my baby dolls. When I grew up and got married, my husband and I had two children; boys. Handsome, perfect, loved-beyond-measure little boys. I loved them completely and wouldn’t have traded them for a million girls. But deep down, the desire to have a daughter was still hidden in my heart. Not because I didn’t love my boys, but because my fleshly desires overtook me, that human nature in me that always wants more no matter how much I have.
In the verses above, Paul says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (v. 7). His divinely inspired words contain such wisdom. Past the plea to make our requests known to God, we find that the premise of the passage is not in answering our every prayer or granting every wish. Rather, it is that when we choose to surrender our desires and rejoice in thanksgiving for the blessings He has given us – even when we don’t get what we ask for or think we need – we find a peace that guards against the anxiousness and discouragements of our human hearts. There is peace in our position of surrender.
As my relationship with God grew, I became acquainted with this joy in surrender, and I found the peace that Paul spoke of that surpassed my understanding. And it was there, in my peace and surrender, that God’s grace overflowed. When our boys were 13 and 10, we received a phone call, unexpected but divine. Three children needed a home, and two of them were, you guessed it, girls. And two months later? Another girl. A newborn girl, just like those baby dolls I played with as a little girl and dreamt of having one day.
I am now a mother to three girls and three boys—a testament to God’s unconventional yet perfect plan. The desires of my heart were unexpectedly and unconventionally granted. It came in God’s way, within the parameters of His master plan.
While God granted me the desires of my heart, that may not be your story. God doesn’t always answer our prayers, because sometimes the desires of our heart are not in line with His will for our life. God knows when the miracle we think is best for our life will result in devastation and heartache. And even when He does grant us our heart’s desires, sometimes they still include that same devastation and heartache.
For me, becoming a girl-mom was one of my heart’s desires. But it has not come without devastation. The devastation of knowing that these three amazing girls will grow up without a relationship with the woman who carried them for 9 months and gave birth to them. The devastation of knowing that she will never know the incredible daughters that she brought into this world. And it has also come with heartache. The nights after nights for the first couple years of holding my oldest daughter as she cried, unable to understand why she couldn’t see her “mom,” why she didn’t come to her visits, why she didn’t call. Devastation and heartache will always be a part of our life here on this earth. Even through the blessings, we have to endure hardships, in whatever ways they come.
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33).
No matter the circumstance, whether you are high on a mountain in a season of thanksgiving or low in a valley during a season of devastation, there is peace that can be found in knowing that no matter what we go through in this world, He has overcome it. His way will always be better. His plans will always be greater. He only asks that through every season, we let faith be our anchor, knowing that He always has something in store for us that is better than our own imagination or expectations could comprehend – even if that something is not what we ask for, it will be what He knows we need.
